Harry Potter randomness
by butterfinger45
Summary: Multiple short stories involving Harry Potter char. There is no particular plot, time, or characters.
1. I must not tell lies

**This is my second fanfic, so here goes! **

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling wouldn't be writing fanfics, now, would she?**

Harry left Umbridge's office in a bad mood. Now, thanks to Umbridge, he had a stupid sentence on the back of his hand! And, might I say, it hurt.

_I must not tell lies._

Harry thought that Umbridge should be banned for this, but he certainly wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of him going to Dumbledore.

"Hey, Harry! Can I have your autograph?" Colin Creevy asked behind Harry.

_Crap! I thought I ditched him!_

"Hey, Colin. Um, actually, I'm busy, I have to go now."

_I must not tell lies. Ahh! I think the toad's put a curse on me! I must tell the truth!_

"Sure, Colin. I'm not going anywhere."

_Colin! Colin, save me! Ask me a question! Any question, so I can see if I must tell the truth!_

"Hey, Harry, I have another question."

_Yes! Thank you, Colin!_

"What kind of boxers do you wear?"

_What?_

"Four leaf clovers."

_Did I just say that?_

"Thanks, Harry!"

"Sure, Creepy. I mean Creevy."

_Ahh! What's going on with me today?_

Harry quickly ascended the multiple stairs it took to get to the Gryffindor common room. Ron and Hermione were sitting on the couch in front of the fire.

"What did the old git make you do?" asked Ron, looking up.

_Lines._

"She made me write "I must not tell lies" in my own blood." Harry answered automatically. "And I think she's also cursed me! It's like I can't lie anymore! I have to tell the absolute truth!"

"Cool." Said Ron. "What kind of boxers do you wear?"

_Gahhhhhh!_

"Four- leaf- clovers." Harry struggled silently with himself.

"Cool! Wait, I thought you had pink hearts?" said Ron.

"You have to tell Dumbledore! He can put a stop to this!" Hermione said, glaring at Ron.

"WTF!? I'm DEFINITLY not going to see Dumbledork!"

"Dumbledork!?" Hermione and Ron exclaimed in unison.

"I mean Dumblodore! No, Dumbbells! ARRRRRRRGH!"

"What did you do with Harry?" whispered Ron.

"You're right! Someone's impersonating him! Oh, no!" Hermione cried. She pointed her wand at Harry and said, "Silencio!", and dug in his pocket for his wand while Ron pinned his arms to his sides.

_Noooo! I MUST let them know I am the REAL Harry Potter._

Just then, Harry Potter walked through the portrait hole.

Harry **(the first one) **stopped struggling and froze, as did the other Harry. They stared at each other. And stared. And stared. And stared. Until Ron broke the silence by saying, "Well, this is awkward." Hermione flung herself at the second Harry, still clutching the first Harrys wand, and cried, "Harry! You have to help us! You're being impersonated by this scum!" she motioned at the first Harry, who was still being held hostage.

The first Harry said, "Dumbledork told me to come in here. I ran into him after coming back from Umbridumbs office." Ron and Hermione clutched each other for dear life, and ran up to the dormitories.

"What's up, mate?" asked the second Harry. The first Harry pointed at his mouth.

"Oh, they silenced you?"

The first Harry nodded. The second Harry muttered the counter-curse. Harry (the first one) breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, who's going to defeat Voldemort now?" asked Harry number 1.

"Why don't we both?" said Harry number 2.

"Sure!" they said in unison.

From his bed in his dormitory, Draco Malfoy watched the whole scene on a television. What the school didn't know was that there were hidden cameras all over the castle. On his beside table was an empty bottle labeled Veritiserum, and next to it was a vial labeled Harry Potter DNA. A huge box that looked like a sauna, was taking up most of the dormitory. It was labeled Cloning Machine.

**So that's it! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that wasn't that good, but I'm about to leave. Next time will be better.**


	2. The white ferret

Harry Potter sat at the kitchen table, munching on a chocolate frog while reading the Quibbler

Harry Potter sat at the kitchen table, munching on a chocolate frog while reading the _Quibbler_. Lily sleepily trudged in the door and grabbed a frog.

"Morning, Dad." She hugged Harry briefly, while she opened her frog card. "Oh, man! I got _you _again! I've got _four _of you already!"

"Mmm." Harry replied, turning the Quibbler upside down.

"Where's Mum, Dad?" Lily asked, peeking over his shoulder to read the puzzle.

"She's at Diagon Alley, getting a new quill or something. Oh, an owl brought this for you. I didn't open it." Harry handed Lily a piece of folded parchment and went back to concentrating on the puzzle in the upside-down _Quibbler. _

Lily squealed rather loudly in Harry's ear. Harry jumped up, wand in hand, and promptly fell backwards over his fallen chair. He sat up, dazed, rubbing his head. "Whazza matta?" he said, confused. Albus ran down the stairs, book in hand.

"What happened? All I heard was a crash!" Albus exclaimed worriedly.

"Oh, don't worry, Dad's just overreacting again." Lily giggled.

"Oh." Albus trudged back upstairs.

"So Dad, guess what?" Lily asked Harry, who was righting himself upon the chair.

"Uh, what?"

"Mrs. Hendricks next door wants me to pet-sit her ferret while she's gone!"

"She has a _ferret_?"

"Yeah! His name's Arnold, and he's white and cute and-"

"They have a _white _ferret?"

"Uh, yeah, he's-"

"There is NO WAY I'm going to have Malf- a white ferret in this house!"

"Aw, come on, Dad, pleeeeeeease? She's gonna pay me!"

"No. Ferret's are messy and I hate them."

I'll take reeeeeally good care of him!"

"Well, I guess, but-"

"Awesome! Thanks Dad!" Lily bounded up the stairs. Harry, sitting defeated, scratched his head.

PAGE BREAK

Harry walked into the living room, and found the curtains shredded, stuffing from the pillows strewn everywhere, and the table missing chunks from it's legs. _Why, why, WHY did he let Lily take care of that cretin?_

PAGE BREAK

Arnold sat innocently in his cage, after being recently caught. Harry stood over the cage, remembering that day in his fourth year at Hogwarts…

PAGE BREAK

_Bang!_

"_OH, NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"_

_Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble stair case. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret, which was whivering on the stone-flagged floor, exactly where Malfoy had been standing._

PAGE BREAK

Harry looked at the cowering ferret, and took his wand out.

"Payback time, Malfoy." He snarled.

"Dad! I'm home!" Lily's voice rang out. Harry cursed under his breath. He stooped down the get eye-to-eye with the white ferret.

"This isn't over, buddy. This isn't over."


End file.
